Some Tools for Navigating the Holiday Season

Last December (2023), Anne Wilson was our guest speaker. Wilson is a pyscholigist and theologian, in the Washington, D.C. area, specializing in counseling and pastoral care. The topic was staying positive during the holidays. The video is located here:

https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo

This is the entire meeting video and includes her entire presentation plus Q&A,

Below on this page, we have created some short clips of selected portions of the meeting.

We are using some outtakes from last December’s Anne Wilson presentation. This should spark some discussion about coping with the holidays.

Some Tools for Navigating the Holiday Season
Anne Talks about some coping skills for staying positive during the holidays, but throughout the year. (9.01) She talks about the fact that all of us experience loss and we must acknowledge this. We must take into account the grieving brain, the title of a good that she recommends.

She points out that we have anxiety when our internal no longer aligns with the external world in which we live.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=S6fs2314qZg2z9Gy&t=541

Here’s what she wants to cover today.
Let’s look at some ways we can approach the holidays. Coping with the lose of a loved ones. A new ritual to celebrate the life of that person. But, also letting very hurtful emotions just pass by. Seasonal affective disorder. Let’s discuss reasons why holidays can bring up feelings of sadness and anxiety, but mostly want to spend this time talking about ways in which we can cope and some things we may want to avoid. Also, we may want to help someone else.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=NIV4UmrJyzCVgjhV&t=755

Let’s define some terms (16.08)
For example, the continuum from anxiety to depression. Stress can cause anxiety, but isn’t always negative. Physical exercise can be stressful but actually is a positive stress for us. If stress lasts more than a couple of weeks, it might be time to seek some professional help.

The parts of brain that can be affected by depression.

“The Body Keeps the Score” (27:00)
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=KsNyolMMenya8TQO&t=926

Slides 8-9: Prevention Tools
Setting boundaries. How? Be self-disciplined about self-care. Breathing (breath control is a good place to start). In social situation, or while driving, or almost anywhere, this breathing exercise may help you.

Schedule relaxation down time. Put it on your calendar. Don’t let it go by unnoticed.

Cultivate a philosophy of gratefulness. (31.44) Focus on the positive. Maybe your mobility is limited, but what are the things that you are still able to enjoy? Write these down. Celebrate them.

One suggestion is the development of Coping Sheets (31.50). Postit notes, photos, cartoons, funny drawings, on the wall, by your bed, where’ve you need a pick-me-up.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=7LopE6-7XnUh7dCZ&t=1638

Keeping in touch with our spiritual selves (33.18)
Spiritual side of life offers much comfort – capacity for amazement and wonder. Get out into nature, even short walks around the neighborhood with elevate our mood. Giving thanks for blessings that come your way.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=H36rxDYIbsYjt84p&t=1997

Staying connected. (34.00)
So important. Volunteering (34.30). Volunteer Match. Cooking. Museums. Musical event. Book club. Attend a class. Volunteer match. Getting outdoors (36.36).
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=gmrIFie5jD1oDOrs&t=2040

Venting partner. (37:38). Make sure you are sharing what you are feeling with others. I need to share this and then let it go. People want to help. But don’t assume people can read your mind.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=GF4GfoyETBtUWpxo&t=2258

Limit social media (39.40)
Get regular sleep. Insight Timer is an app you may like. Maintain a healthy diet.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=rrtXdFxOYzuUfo6A&t=2300

Slide 10: When Prevention is not enough.
Sometimes it is good to get professional help. How do you know? One sign is when you want to self-isolate for too long. And, of course, any thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=Gqc2ypXT0piShbTG&t=2430

Siide 11: Some local resources
Just a few listed here. Asking for help is courageous, not weakness.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=69r-cOUFGNEPrLoO&t=2496

Slide 12: Supporting others (44.28)
Handling stress in others. Centering partner. Remain calm. Active listening.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=Z4HpTkyRkrwGMF4z&t=2568

Slide 13: Be an advocate for yourself
Be an advocate for yourself. Be with those that bring out the best in you, not the stress in you!). Kitten sees herself as a lion. Be with those that bring out the best in you, not the stress in you. A dry well yields no water. Buddhist Joy Exercise (999).
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=2QlLmit_mwlQqf9H&t=2722

Slide 14: Conclusion (49.04)
Each of us is responsible for managing our time. Even in the dark, there is stil some light around.
https://youtu.be/ju8ZB8eszRo?si=yclegKo_g8BiObc4&t=2912

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Books Referenced by Anne Wilson:

101 Ways To Be Less Stressed 
by Dr. Caroline Leaf

The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living 
by Russ Harris

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself 
by Dr. Kristin Neff

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma 
by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss 
by Mary-Frances O’Connor